Ummm. Wow!?

I didn't post last week because, well, I didn't lose anything and I didn't gain anything. I was still doing everything that I need to do to stay on program (track my food, walking regularly, eating more whole foods, etc.) but I felt I didn't have anything to really report.

Today is a different story. I lost FOUR POINT FOUR pounds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't have any explanation for this, other than I think my body finally caught up with all the walking I am doing, and maybe adjusted itself accordingly??? I don't know. But to put things in perspective ... I now have LESS than 100 pounds to lose to make it to goal. And my total loss to date equals my 3 year old son's entire weight: 36.2 pounds. Wow. Just wow.

Okay, so I've got to keep this up. I'm so close to the 40 pound loss that I can taste it. So my big goal is to increase walking to 4 times next week. But I'm also going to continue to drink all my water, to write down everything I put in my mouth and to cut back on processed foods in favor of whole foods (like fruits and veggies and proteins).

I can do this. Heck. Look at me! I *am* doing it!!!

Heading in the right direction!

I had a loss this time ... a 3.4 lb loss, to be exact! I'm very proud of myself today. I feel like I did everything right this week to make this loss happen, and I felt GREAT doing it too! I tried to eat more whole foods instead of processed foods ... I really paid attention to getting in all my servings of fruits and veggies and also made sure to eat some protein in the morning. I didn't get in four days of walking, but I did get in three days. And the days I did get in, I ran (yes, you read that right) a few hundred yards for good measure.

I'm going to continue this routine through next week to see if I can kickstart a consistent weight loss. For a while, it seemed I kept losing and gain the same 5 pounds ... it's time I shook things up!

Oh, and I got some good news this week (besides my weight loss). A year ago, I went to my doctor for a routine physical. He told me I was at risk for Type 2 Diabetes and that my cholesterol was too high. He urged me to lose weight and start exercising (duh). It took me 6 months and two cancer diagnosises in my family for me to take his advice. Now, 6 months into Weight Watchers and almost 32 pounds lighter, I went back for another physical. Not only is my risk for Type 2 Diabetes gone, but my cholesterol is "perfect" according to the nurse (who also said she wished her bloodwork looked as good as mine!).

Nice, right?

I'm a runner!!!

Okay. So I'm not exactly a runner in the sense that I've signed up for a marathon, BUT during my walk this morning, I decided to see what would happen if I ran a couple of yards. So I ran a couple HUNDRED yards!

The result: I didn't die! AND, I've decided that I'm going to try to run a little bit every time I go for a walk.

In other news, I'm a Weight Watchers queen again. My eating is back under control -- I've made excellent food choices the past 2 days and I'm accounting for every piece of food that I put in my mouth.

This frame of mind that I'm in now is much better than last week. I need to do this more often.

Self-sabotage anyone?

I'm up 1.2 pounds, but I'm not suprised about it. I didn't take any morning walks for the last 2 weeks, I stopped tracking what I was eating, and I ate way too much. I can't even say that cared either.

And that's what scared me.

Is this how it's going to be everytime I hit a big milestone or start feeling really good? Is this how I reward myself? If so, then I've got to figure out a better way because this 2 steps forward, 1 step back approach I've been taking is not so good on my psyche. I deserve better than this.

So. I'm refocusing (again). I walked 2.5 miles this morning, drank all my water today, tracked everything I put in my mouth, and -- suprise, suprise -- I feel great. I also had a couple of a-ha moments today. The first came from a girl on the WW message boards. She was quoting a book she was reading and it said:

"People don’t fall off track because they do the wrong exercises at the gym. They fall off track because they stop going, just for a day or two, and then never go back. I’ve worked on this with thousands of patients, and it’s the habit and routine of exercise that lead to success.

Luckily, you can rewire your brain with structure and routine. Just take that amazing life skill you started building the first day you showed up for kindergarten and turn it to a new purpose. Show up at the gym. Think of it as a great job, which it is. It will change your life, slowly but surely, because once you show up you are virtually certain to do some meaningful exercise. And even if you don’t, you will show up again tomorrow. That’s the key – showing up again tomorrow for the rest of your life."

This just totally resonated with me as I read it this morning after my walk because there I was deciding to SHOW UP yet again for this healthy life that I'm choosing for myself. I might have fallen off track for a week or two, but I'm not allowing myself to get totally derailed. I'm choosing to keep showing up (in spite of myself, sometimes).

My second a-ha moment came during a phone conversation with my middle sister this afternoon regarding my mother's breast cancer. I was flashing back to when I was 14 and watching my own mother deal with HER mother's illness and remembering how scared I was then for my grandmother -- and knowing how scared I am now for my mom. In that instant I realized that if I don't take care of myself and get healthy, I will be putting my own children through what my sisters and I are going through right now. I can't do that to them. Scratch that. I won't do that to them.

So here I am -- going back to the basics so that I can continue this journey to get healthy. Next week, I will post about how I walked 4 times this week and how I wrote down everything I ate. I'll also be bragging about how I got in all my water and fruits and veggies, and how great I feel!

Here's hoping, right?